The Smoking Game

so i've been meaning to put this up for a while. it's a totally fun game you can play with family & friends.

YOU WILL NEED: money to get cigarettes/tobacco, at least one friend (ideally a smoker), a lack of conscience

RULES: in The Smoking Game you buy cigarettes or tobacco. the winner is the smoker with the harshest picture warning. if you're having trouble figuring out harshness, here's the key::::

zero points: any non-picture label, or faux-encouraging positive advice on quitting (you may want to award -1 for this, it's your call)...

1 point: ["the Bent Cock"] aww! is that supposed to represent my penis? how thoughtful of you, yet how damaging! my self-esteem has been gently flung out the window. everyone knows smoking is a turn on. 1 point: ["the shit diagram of sperm"] this one looks like a 12-year-old girls bedroom wallpaper, why would this scare me?

2 points: ["the Pregnant one"] this is of course, infinitely more harsh if you're pregnant. but the vast majority arent. dont smoke if youre pregnant, nicorette's in fruit flavour now, for god's sake.

3 points: ["dont MAKE them breathe your smoke"] this is a fun one. i like this one because the kid looks cool, as does the smoke. i get this hilarious image of a nonchalant man smoking over a cot. don't MAKE THEM. DONT MAKE THEM.

4 points: ["smoking=heroin"] okay, you can sort of see the logic here. it's smoking> drinking > weed > speed > ketamine > shrooms > acid > coke > meth > crack > heroin. the well-established path. but... what the fuck?? smoking=heroin? um, not really. studies show that alcohol is actually more damaging, but they wouldnt slap this shit on a pint.

5 points: ["mister dead as featured on cigarette warning labels & as seen on tv"] this is a 5-pointer for pure comedy. enjoy this stupid actor's face. i can almost imagine how he snores.




6 points: ["the throat"] phwooar! nasty gouge there mate! thing is, i always picture this guy as a pretty dandyish parisian that probably gets laid because of the insane scoop from his neck. pity this is photo-edited, eh?




7 points: ["the classic lungs"] by now you probably think i'm in denial about the dangers of smoking. not so, everything here is true -- but look how gay they have to be about it. nice plastic biology-room lungs that haven't even been used for a single breath, and then DOOM DOOM DOOM satan's lungs from the bowels of hell, covered in lava. you will die you will be devil lungs. pshhh.. still, it is a classic.


*8 points*: ["surgery"] ...and finally, the absolute ace up yr sleeve -- the surgery! you've got a fucking operation happening on your packet! enjoy these boys, that'll be you on that table in ten years time, you complete idiot! a real man gets this packet. instant win (unless it's a draw -- then you have to buy another pack).

happy gaming!

S

KSD does not endorse smoking of any kind.