Monday, 30 June 2008

The Toenail Clippings I keep Under the Bed near your Swimming Bikini

happy JAmes! glad to see you cunt. Let me describe the dream I had. It was something along the lines of everything you ever needed to know was a metaphysical concept but you were a very workaholic scientific scientist with acne and you didnt think metaphysicals was anything like a munterfucking good idea, so you left it, even though in regular cicumstances you wouldntve done. THAT looped over and over until you wake up. That's what i dreamt.

I've had some other ideas - im gonna (or i might) draw little cute boy bIro illustrations when i do record reviews, if i do record reviews on this. it's reallly entirely up to me...
<------------------------------------------------ Persian Carpets! are still the bee's tits. ----------

I didn't get a job at a charity fundraiser also, so FUCK CHARITY FUNDRAISERS to the devils grave.........................................

When I was in primary school a child called Damien put stones in the water fountains so we couldnt drink.


this is a list of what is really freakcing cool:

the colour black, in a triple-irony way.

bandnames that are as simple as possible, so that people remember them , also (for bonus points) featuring the word 'black'( i do actually quite like this trend. or do i?)

monochrome (since it couldve ONLY gone one way, and now that the only people that use the word 'rave' in a non-everyday, i'm genuinely excited way, or like '''''''neon'''''''''' in their still-active myspace (notice that myspace = colors, facebook = monochrome - people are much more prepared to settle for less, for subtlety, if they think its the right thing to do))

basically, if you think those new American Apparel adverts are too cool, you should get a life miss.

ANYWAY this is all a load of shit, and this load of shit couldve been told to you, a lump of shit, from any other blog in the webniverse. American Apparel are good to accentuate, no? anyway, all that matters is that you are as fucking punk as possible, because I predict a genuine punk rebirth under the water ---------- think about it ---------- think about how excited you got listening to PRE, Test Icicles, Cheerleader Camp and all those other horrible bands with no energy to stand but plenty to,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, fall down. and play chords n shit. The main thing to take away from this is that while the genre doesnt really mean shit, its only a matter of time before the punkness of punk comes to haunt you

p.s. blogs are well fucking punk


Sunday, 29 June 2008

Old Stereo

I was on me way home from me grandma's and i thought... OMFGSZx11!! Only blogs isn't it! only blogs! so i knew i had to make a whole new blog from scratch, a music blog BECAUSE BLOGS ARE WELL FUCKING PUNK

1st things fuckin last (what films that from - its from reservoir dogs), take a look at this scab on my shinbone:------

<---- Every boy and every girl knows that the best thing you'll ever get out of life is peeling a scab off your leg, and I've just started on this one. Good fucking times. & In case you didn't notice, the aesthetic of this blog is to have really un related shit? and poor grammar? You cant complain because that is the aesthetic of this blog, so you can contact me and complain but i litereally wont listen. TIT OFF SHANGLE Anyway, I had this idea of 1-sentence summaries of new bands, and I was gonna get ducttape and photograph it and scan it in and use that as a background, and all these things. Basically im trying to be as messy as possible. BECAUSE BLOAGS ARE WELL FUCKING PUNK

Times New Viking are so flipping punk they make me want to play the bass guitar round a middle-class girl's house until blood drips down from my index finger onto their Persian carpet.


Alice Glass has the nicest tits ever. X 400000000000000000000000000000000000

now some bad ones......

Coldplay must stop BUGGING ME now that they are the nostalgic-pub-jukebox-presser's favourite cunt song makers that they vaguely remember playing in the background of a tender moment with their girlfriend of 7 YEARS ago listening to Trouble, even though the album cover of the new one is nice THAT DOESNT MAKE YOU GOOD SHITS.

and finally....

Timbaland fancies his dad.


by Andrew! Bye!