Friday, 28 November 2008

MUSIC LITERATURE IS MY QUEEN:my# Pitchfork burger-nip chois,,es,,,,,,,, or some shit

pitchfork have this reader's poll, and instead of my valuable views being smudged in with all the other troglodyte votes, i thought i would tell your FACE what i think and how you should think. this is democracy. X 64.

favourite album 2008
rip it off - Times New Viking
this album is the sound of artistic shabby canvas sex and spooning. all the time, but represented on a piece of parchment, by the egyptians. it's so brutish, goofy and shit, and it doesn't care, and this is why it is just like love. it's such a stylish, landmark record, not too indie, not too goat-eyed and indifferent, it's leftist and green and so appallingly produced it makes you long for band practice in the garage. 'i wanted to buy you flowers' Beth and Adam sing through bass-ridden dead-amp distortion on The Early 80's (adorable greengrocers' apostrophe a must), and its like, but you already did.

favourite song 2008
suicide notes - Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti
It's a silly idea to choose yr favourite song in any year, (i was going to put Water Curses but for untold reasons, i cant bare to listen to it anymore, or perhaps something my coki? hmm..), but my random discovery of Ariel Pink was so lucky musically -- his sound - -weird-ass, emotional, lost in the worst/best GENUINE trip of the 70's. music journo's often talk about music being trippy, but that's because they're recalling when they did speed a month ago. the Haunted Graffiti is really warped in a way that seems to be due to a labour of love. and it's singable. it's like when you have to spend time with cousins you cant really remember the names of and you havent slept, and you realise how old they look and the insertion point on the inside of your elbow really itches, and time is really subjective and flopped over. suicide notes is really cool because i pretend the chorus goes Jodie, Jodie, which is a friend of mine from when i was really young, and it hazes the whole thing up.

best live act 2008
The Kills
i've seen more shows that usual this year, but the crystal castles show at the beginning of the year made me realise how they are now tamers of 14-year-old zombies, and they whip them into shape (or Alice does, dominatrix that she is) and that really bored me. then Shred Yr Face at Elec Ballroom was excellent and sexy, traditional fun, as was the No Age aftershow later at Bar Vinyl, where Randy was a really nice guy (and reading their recent interviews, fucking hilarious), as well as Fucked Up, where everyone there got mollested. but seeing the Kills, and not really expecting much at all (i had presumed my tastes had changed significantly, No Wow being the last album i got), they were fucking nang. classically composed, genuinely enjoying themselves, and always with this beautiful, sad poetry between them. it was as if Kate Moss was standing in the middle like a ghostly form, seperating them, and the glances (and sometimes lustful, full-on stares) they gave eachother were taut with happy, glad-to-be-on-the-road melancholy. i began imagining the conversations they would have at whatever shitty Stoke hotel they were staying at, wondering how Alison would lean out the window whilst she smoked. the nicest thing about the Kills is they are probably the most timeless, ageless band of the decade, and there is definitely something worth keeping in that.

best new artist 2008
David Altmejd
it doesnt say music artist, and there are too many to choose from, so let me tell you about the awesome contemporary sculptor David Altmejd. he's canadian, uses dead/synthetic animals (often wolves) in his work, with huge fuck off crystals coming out of their chests, and digital watches on their wrists. often his sculptures are so dense with tiny images, little freaky men made out of whatever, queuing up inside the body of some transcreature, full of color without the 'u', all with a pastel, rural cool. not so much an artist's artist, as a fashion designer's artist.

most overrated album
the seldom seen kid - Elbow
blah blah blah! hello sire, whats yon band call-ed? el-BOW. EL-bow -- really? and you feel thou deservest a stance on the highest of crap, dans Mercury prize, throne, yes? above Burial? Yes? whyest you better sit on d'cunt then chaps!!.... Elbow winning the Mercury seemed to say everything that needed to be said about music this year -- no one knows what they are supposed to like. Kasabian-lite for lonely mid thirties? fine. very innovative. get out of my sight. Los Campesinos!' We are Beautiful, We are Doomed was also on the shortlist for this, theyre mawkish fucking shit-children too.

most underrated album
anywhere i lay my head - Scarlett Johansson
oh no he dit'ent! yeah, i know. but bear in mind she couldve put out any old absolute chart-topping icecream toss, but she actually chose to make a decent, muddily-produced, personal record. it's a series of tom waits covers, but it's clearly something she wanted to do since she was a kid, and then got to, and even though shes a fairly pants singer, it just makes the whole thing more shoegazey and goofy (pictures of her in her wellies). it's refreshing that it wasn't shit, is what i mean, in earnest. rubicund lips and wellies are a good combo.


Monday, 17 November 2008

mou,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,brightblack morning light

it's weird how global splodges on the map become cool (in the western world that is). one minute it's paris, then canada, then seattle, and now, my darlings, it is mexico.

NB: the u.k. continuously lets everyone down.*

Mr. Mou, one 1/2 of 'xyx', a kind of mexican, post-punk version of Lightning Bolt, makes his very own shoegaze with experimental cherries in the mix of cake. like the Sea & Cake played through a child's just-been-born bracelet with someone lurking in the hospital with a marshall mini-amp attached to their doctor coat. real. and good.

it seems ambience is at last being explored for the better.

Brightblack Morning Light know wilderness, and love ambience, residing in a teepee in new mexico, and making music so chilled and generous it's enough to make you join them. "the world's first hippy 'shagging album'" is what their newy is according to +1 magazine, and it's hard to disagree when you're this turned on. the sound of smoke in the bracken, the sound of dry sex and the sound of someone asking you, sincerely,

'wanna come look for firewood with me?'.


Saturday, 15 November 2008

Laura Huet is ..poor me, i'm writing an essay and i'm only 1/2 way thru

fuck off people that tell everyone about yr essay status thru yr facebook status!!!! writing essays isnt hard cunt! it's not like someones gonna message you it fully-formed!!!! at least you don't have meth-arms like this chick! ----

more gross at,GGLJ:2006-41,GGLJ:en-GB&q=crystal%20meth%20effects&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wi
RAD! that photo reminds me of a dream i had last nite actually..


Wednesday, 12 November 2008

zola jesus,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,the rebel

fascinating story:
my grandparents owned a restaurant in St Albans, gangster land, just resting past the prim, sexy outskirts of north london, and they used to bust balls, kill people, spill so much blood that you couldnt differentiate between blood and meatball juice, and by the end, you didnt even care.

The Rebel, from St Albans!!!! (THE LINK) and "the moniker under which Ben Wallers of Country Teasers records and performs solo" (thanks Wiki! xxxx!) are stop drinking yr desperate coffee in the morning you need to have the vaguest bit of energy to look for new music, cool. or hot, but by that point my coffee was cold. i didn't mind. i say 'are' because it sounds so lame calling him the Rebel, and theres some chick on drums for the live shit, bashing away her days. aanyway, very college-country, very dark and literate statements of teeth grinding art-damage. is what the Rebel are. like a night you spend mostly slumped outside a car, looking at the 45° sky, blown, and it ends up being one of yr best. like a nap in the sun.

Zola Jesus is a fine lady that makes very stuck-in-a-Gursky-photo style ambient shardy shoegaze, and is only on the same label! the greedily good Sacred Bones. i like this photo up here--^, she looks like a cross between Johansson 56 minutes into Lost in Translation and M.I.A. or something. ~~~~ ZJ flutters around stylistically, is often industrial, is often CocoRosily distant and tapey, catchy in a Xiu Xiu way. like a trip to the supermarket with your parents.


Sunday, 9 November 2008

excepter,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, crown now

it always annoys my breasts when yr at a house party and some music faker says ''ohh theres nothing new anymore, everythings been done'' and you say ''oh hey, dont you make music yrslef mike?''' and they say ''yeah its mostly acoustic, kind of pop/rock??'' and you realise, becauez you can see it in their eyes, that they are skating on the seabed and they will never be alive and you say YES.

Crown Now are a band that are immediately repulsive and loveable. basically mashed up grabbed out tapes that you could easily imagine a kid in a high-chair had got that ketchup you get in pizza's all over, with some delicately measured vox over the top. genuinely creepy, very clastrophobic like realising you have no choice but to live in a closet-sized flat, but you console yrself at nights by thinking you could put a stained floral mattress up against the wall and take some good pictures of this girl you know. very much Dorine Muraille's punk offspring.

excepter got da burgur!! i love these burgers, i have this amazing picture of the best/biggest/blackest/ cutest man ever eating one with this bib on and a crash helmet. ah there he is! i tracked him down, and i'm putting the link in later.

aanyway,, excepter are like a small lightshow given primarily for yr friends pet, very beautiful, with the mumbling qualitites of Suicide, and the boosted walking away from a bright house-style hypnotisation beats. there's even something Liarsy about their repetition and dark suggestion and making out. very much like something that should be on a Kill Rock Stars complication compilation, if they hadnt got a bit lax lately. excepter remind me of the time me and my friend max dropped a steel bar down a well but we were so convinced we should go down and get it that we did.


Sunday, 2 November 2008

mummy, why does every girl i know turn into a complete fucking lardarse when they go to university

it's the hidden mystery of craggy doom. 'cept it's not all that ard to penetrate. women are weak, and men are also weak but in different ways. with women the tendency under the depression of university is to get the fuck to morrisons whilst the Ben & Jerry's offer is still on and consume, consume, consume. and they do it in gangs, so no one feels bad that they can't see their hipbones for shit, because none of them can. it's like group suicide. guys are more likely, when under the depression of university, to lock themselves in their room and wank themselves to death. you heard it here 1st.

Saturday, 1 November 2008

christmas island

hey dad! yll really like this piece of music! its got some chords!!

christmas island are fucking excellent and the erason is theyre influences are like a glossy dream of bile and filth, in other words, they have perfect influences ranging from London post-punk gems like desperate bicylces and tronics, to the fucking urinals. it's worth talking over with yr gran, or maybe wrapping that dark blue green sweater round her throat. i'm trying to be descriptive.

doin' swell is their best so far, although i like to wake up in the morning and look down at the beer cans on the patio and listen to 'i don't care'. makes me feel okay.