Thursday, 30 October 2008

...and this is 1 fur all yew studentz out thurr!

UR 1st year of university will be the only one that isnt 100% unwithstandable pain, suffering and mental turmoil. the 1st is the fun one right! its just a warm-up yeah?! nothing can go wrong.

1. you will become heavily addicted to something, whether its sex so promiscuous there is a vague disappointment when your piss doesnt burn, coffee at all hours of the night, ketamine that you will end up injecting, cigarillos, drink (not really an option) or the 2 classics; weed/coke depending on the family wealth of the people you hang around with.

2. you will love yr friends, at the start. the 1st night is something that stretches over weeks of indecision and spendage, to the point that time and money are one and yet do not exist, and everyone you meet is everything you ever wanted in an abstract way that makes you almost cry when you get back in to your halls that arent the bedroom you grew up in, but you dont care because everything is perfect or something.

3. if youre up north, you will realise than Oasis are actually a secretly hidden, mongoloid cult.

4. you will experience true multiculturalism, and find out if you are, as you always secretly maybe wondered, at the back of yr mind, that tiny, smidge bit racist, or not.

5. you will have a lot of sex or spend a lot of time wondering why you arent having a lot of sex, and the reason for this is because you are a cunt and you will never survive in life and may as well kill yourself, but you came to that conclusion anyway, you just needed confirmation, right?

6. s.t.i.s really are on the loose. ill say no more.

7. you will have feelings for one of yr tutors, regardless of gender, just because theyre so nice.

8. you will have the best, trippiest all-nighters of all time in the woods, or if yr urbanized, in a squat/warehouse/prostitute's kitchen. in manchester.

9. if youre in london the credit crunch will fuck you sore, hopefully, you lucky bastards.

10. you will DIE! EVERY DAY

Andy S
photo:Kevin wears boxers by Gap £12.99, a ginger cat, watch by casio £7.99 & cast by GGXX £19999999999 pounds



Sunday, 12 October 2008

miruki tusko

The goofy and gorgeous work of multimedia actually Belgian artist Miruki Tusko is the stuff of dungeons (milk milk milk milk). It's gothic glitch-collage to the power 19 and you loves it. As disturbing as it is cutesy, as tired as it is vibrant, it's a mixture of graf, stolen gifs and hyper silkscreen bliss. His official site is a warped piece of net art covered in lava and angry Magic 8-bit synths, his work's titles scabishly ranging from 'WHATS WRONG CUNT', to 'THE BLUE LAGOON' and 'EXTREMELY POINTLESS'. His music is the industrial gabba of yesteryear, but better, more horrible, more likeable. He has a book of his lushly punk neon silkscreens out atm, so smash 'n' grab that shit.



Sunday, 5 October 2008

kristen schaal

fluke! fluke! the powerhouse!
i found him outside, he was so poor...

KRISTEN SCHAAL, the funniest thing since sliced swan necks smeared on the queen's belly with a bit of cum on also, is KRISTEN SCHAAL! she's a curio combination of Miranda July & Andy Kaufman, and she's cute as a niggering button. no jokes!

with the voice of a 40-a-day baby and the pretty/ugly thing going on like nothing else, she is my favourite comidí.Ênne of da moment! take a bow, bitch!