Thursday, 21 August 2008

what you should be listening to, because you have no backbone, you stupid fuck












Hip Hop ---- Kail, for the sound of righteously arrogant production values and Californian chemically-enhanced blowjobs.
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Punk ---- Times New Viking, for the sound of scraping rulers on an old maths table whilst a girl you used to fancy sat opposite you.
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Grime ---- Rustie, for the sound of listening to your entire family's mp3 players, all the phones you ever owned and the start up sounds for all the computers in the neighbourhood.
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Shoegaze ---- A Sunny Day in Glasgow, for the sound of your girlfriend's hair hanging out the window of a speeding car.
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Reggae ---- The Pioneers, for the sound of an old radio in pampas grass with a red sticker that reads Love Carribbean Life on it.
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Electro ---- The Knife, for the sound of curiously cold, slow, snowy romance on synths.
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House ---- The Field, for the sound of fields. But really really beautiful ones.
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Jazz ---- Bill Evans, for his murmurs in-between the tunes.
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Songwriter ---- Bat for Lashes, for the sound of falling for someone because of their clothes, not their face. At night. Naturally.
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Rock ---- Liars, for the sound of the most talented cavemen we could find.
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Pop ---- Drug Rug, for the sound of a band I liked when stoned and now hate.
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Indie ---- Dirty Projectors, for the sound of a sad drunk man that is quite skinny and offers you a cigarette he rolled himself but is quite wet from the rain outside a train station.
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Folk ---- Eat Skull, for the sound of an old bin.
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Opera ---- Richard Strauss, for the sound of German elegance and cum stained pants.
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Dubstep ---- Cluekid, for the sound of ghost dogs barking basslines, & a sick new sound in dubstep.

x
Andr

Wednesday, 20 August 2008

deerhunter






it's always nice to hear a band get slowly better, and at the consistent speed of motorway journeys at night. Atlanta's Deerhunter are a band i discovered a couple years ago being ambient and fairly interesting, so i naturally picked up a few tracks (notably 'Like New'*). at this stage they were comfy round the delay-y shoegaze campfire, and suited it grandly, emotive apathy, lost jangles, muddy mixes and all.

now deerhunter are a v different band (but not too different), making tracks with the lushly registered tinkle and chord+tambourine stomp of early velvet underground, but all under a warm familiar fur coat of Bilinda Butcher Jag feedback -- try 'Little Kids' & 'Never Stops'. the band are energetically fronted by Bradford Cox, whose worringly skeletal frame is due to Marfan Syndrome, which as a condition does absolutely nothing to stop his onslaught of self-sacrificial live expression. one to watch.

AA



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Thursday, 14 August 2008

the whines





to the left is the only existing (and critically acclaimed) logo for Beaver State shitgaze buzzards The Whines.

as lonely as their myspaz seems, their grungey-jams-heard-from-over-several-neighbour's-fences-whilst-pissed sound and tuct alt works wonders.

'Insane Ok' is an oddly haunting midday/midnight drive which could slot nicely into a surf mixtape as it could a drug scene in a Tarantino flick. the simple, grainy vocals provided by either Barky(?) or the Riddler(?) (who I really hope looks like a ginge Carrey in green question-marked lycra and a semi), turn the strangely relevant lyric 'people are insane' into the traditional lethargic-cynical tendencies of this scene. 'teleporter' and I ran with weeds' both deliver bassy clunkage and punk that is (importantly) forgettable as it is catchy. i just want to see what they fuck they look like.


Andy Apples

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Sunday, 3 August 2008

psychedelic horseshit






this line represents Ohio's Psychedelic Horseshit. is it good? is it bad? is it actually 2 lines? what is a line? am I gay? how can I hope to have a stable family that appreciate me individually but equally? all valid questions.

the band are from the super-relevant genre of Shitgaze. so um um sire? wot da fuk does that mean?

-- i guess it means MBV played shit? guuhhihhhrr!!

not so much. instead, imagine the music industry. and then imagine the frustration of how shit (on the whole, if youre honest) it is, on a global fucking scale. its the frustration that music like Psychedelic Horseshit (it's a chore to write that out) are born from. and praise Allah they exist, because with any luck the impressive sarcasm of Matt Whitehurst's lyrics (the kind that make you feel like every decision made in your life is a naive dirty joke), as well as the band's overall cluttered, hurtful sound, will make people question what the fuck theyre listening to on a night out, or on their 1/2-volume iPod Shuffles.

songs like 'Rather Dull' speak a rare, square bitterness at pretty much all subcultures, (other than their popular satirical/not satirical targeting of New Age Hippies). because of the absolute horror of the sound of Psychedelic Horseshit, things become so mangled that the listener can make their own interpretations, musically and lyrically ('rather dull' becomes 'radical' por ejemplo). but, despite the crap-sliding-off-a-tin-roof sound of PsyHoSh, (and like you were expecting much after all this justification) they make sick choons, genuinely catchy (I had 'Mouth Disciples' lodged in my brain for 427890 hours) pop songs, albeit played by 3 ravaged foxes. they really are well worth a listen if you wondered what an undead version of a parallel universe Strokes would sound like if they cunted their amps and worked in telesales.

listen at MySpace
listen at Last.fm

x!
Andy Apples




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